Danny Wheelspanner

I have a pic of him somewhere. He is somewhat of a legend, if that is the right term, in Port Saint Johns. It's the only little town where his petty larceny is tolerated. Once, when he was well and truly busted for nicking a motorbike and selling it to another, smarter, petty larcenist called bluebottle (he wore these really tacky bluebottle eye sunglasses), he got convicted and sent off to chookie.

Now, here's the rub. The guys who he nicked the bike from were, rather unsurprisingly, a bit pissed off with him and laid charges, leading eventually, to his incarceration for 3 months at the pleasure of the SA government. The local community were outraged. How dare they do this to Danny they asked? They regarded the rightful owners of the bike as dishonorable men who were treating Danny horribly. They should have more compassion they said.

Danny is an Angolan war veteran with classic Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome symptoms. ie he is a polyaddict/alcoholic who steals things. He doesn't have a job and hasn't had a regular job since I first met him which was over ten years ago. He does, however, have an uncanny ability to grasp a quart of black label, half full (or empty) at any time of day. His home from home is the Vuyani bottle store's shebeen at second beach. In fact, the last time I was there, that's where I saw him, in an old army greatcoat, holding a quart of black label.

His name comes from the fact that he was handy with a wheelspanner, as in changing wheels, not nutting people with it. I think he had had enough of that nonsense in the war. Actually, monikers were rather popular there, Danny millionaire, Johnny 'vrot' (as in Johnny Rotten the punk star) the list could go on.

I have always wondered about the Danny's of the world. How do they survive? He did a job for me on my Landy once, replacing the shocks. It took him days and he didn't bother to replace the old rubbers. I was hopping about it, but, forgave him as he is not a bad bloke except for his tendency to steal things and drink too much. Does that make any sense?

And that, I think, explains a bit about Port Saint Johns. It is like the sink trap for some of humanity, they get stuck there and never leave. They survive on the generosity of people. Which most people are. Danny is no doubt, right now, either sleeping or, at the Vuyani shebeen with a quart of black label in his grasp. I think the world would be a bit diminished without characters like him in it. Even if he did nick my Philippino jungle bolo.