Crabs in a bucket

''Anyone familiar with the behavior of a bunch of crabs trapped at the bottom of a bucket will know what happens when one of them tries to climb to the top; instead of attempting the climb themselves, those left at the bottom of the bucket will do all in their collective power to drag the climber back down. And although crab behavior should not in any way be analogous to human behavior, we can think of many instances where it is. ''

Couldn't have said it better if I tried.

I first heard the term when I was in Taiwan. Our Filipino nanny reckoned this was the norm amongst Filipino expat's (balikbayans). Her take on it was slightly different though. Which is an interesting slant on points of view about, well, crabs in a bucket. Filipinos too I suppose. It was certainly true about the balikbayans, no favours there, they would dob each other in at a whim or perceived diss'ing. Most were illegals and would end up on the plane home to Manila.

I know crabs. I have caught them before and seen their behaviour. In a bucket too. The one trying to get to the top will do anything to get there. And then what? First one in the pot. That's what.

Anyway, that's what the harridan's I mentioned in my previous post were. Crabs in a bucket. I mean, really, what ladder were those bitches climbing? At best they would have got a tiny pay increase and a huge load of extra responsibility. I am not interested in climbing the ladder, I just want to survive the next 2 years and start the Restaurant as planned. They had utterly no valid reason to give the shit they did other than being petty vindictive bitches. That is reason enough. I've seen the same type of crab behaviour directed at other people with similar consequences.

Guys don't do this type of thing. I swear, if they don't like you they will swear you silly or smack you one but they won't get crab on you.

But women, aaaaayyyyyy, scary stuff. The last crab had the audacity to look at me, as I was being canned from my job due, utterly, to her nastiness, and say, 'What about the students?' 3 months before the end of term. What about the students? Absolutely! Her crab mentality hurt them. So much for educators.

F*ck me, I was leaving anyway because it was the crappest job I had ever endured in my life.She made it worse by getting us thrown out the country just before the kid's exam's revision and says to me, 'What about the students?' Unbelievable. So, the moral of the story?

There isn't any really, apart from watching out for people who walk sideways with a desire to go upwards. Watch out for them.

White meat or brown?

It's the old question when carving up a chicken but for years I laboured under the delusion that dark skinned people had some kind of protection from being eaten by the man in the grey overcoat. The landlord. Johnnies. Whatever you want to call the creature . Think about it though. Up until two years ago I had never heard of a black guy getting attacked by a shark.

Now, in the last two years four attacks in the same place. One of them on the same guy (HOW unlucky is that? Poor bastard) who got bitten once and a year later absolutely chowed by a hungry Zambezi.

That's one thing you can say about Wild Coast shark attacks when they happen. Which, statistically, is scary, given how many people surf there. They tend to be rather serious. And not many people surf there due to the definite possibilty of being eaten and the more definite possibility of being robbed these days. Either when you're in the water as the Tsotsi's break into your car, or at gunpoint.

In the 80's Alex Macun was demolished in two bites at Ntlonyana in front of friends of mine who were close enough to the beastie to throw rocks at it. His board is on display at the Natal Shark's Board in Umhlanga Rocks. He was gone, not even a toenail left. Eaten. It wasn't actually his board, it was a friend's board he was on. Given the circumstances I believe she has forgiven the damage done. My mum was doing photography classes with the guy. He was chomped on a flat, two foot day, in knee deep water. To this day I don't think I want to surf that wave again.

The last three attacks were at 2nd beach where I surfed regularly when I lived in Port St Johns. It was the equivalent of Pipe in PE. Two were locals from the location up on the hill overlooking the waves (best views from any location in Africa). Learning to surf on boards donated by travelling surfers. Another was a lifesaver, also from the location. All they got of him was his swimfins. Zambezi shark again.

I remember two whitey surfers, Mark and Johnno' who lived there and ran a bar, (Tubes, excellent name) surfed a lot and refused to eat seafood of any kind.

'We don't eat them so they don't eat us.' Worked for them. God only knows where they are now. probably hit by a car or something. Hopefully still hanging out somewhere.

Johnno's girlfriend was a piece of work of NOTE. Pathological, lying bitch. Tried to stitch me up a few times for her own personal reasons (I was her supervisor) and nearly succeeded due to the old, 'Well, where there's smoke there's fire' adage. What he saw in her apart from the obvious I do not know. She got caught out with her lies when she claimed I had abused her verbally one day and I was 120 km's away at the time she alleged I called her a lazy, lying bitch and screamed at her for not doing her job. Which she was and she certainly didn't. But I never said it to her as she claimed. But that's another story all over again. I digress (sue me bitch!).

I also remember watching shark fishermen all being hooked up on monster hammerheads at The Gap (all five of them) as I was surfing in line with where they were trying to reel in these 14 foot beasties. Thinking, 'Ah, those are hammerheads, they don't bite.' And carrying on surfing.


I should have learned from the Johnno's squeeze incident. I got stitched up recently by another pathological lying bitch, except this time she got me. And that is also another story.

Will I stop surfing? Not a chance.

Trust women? Go figure. A post later on what ugly women (within and externally) in positions of self perceived power will do to people to further their own vaulting ambitions. Crabs in a bucket...

REAL ART not some foppy painting stuff

How good is this? Absolute talent. It was 4 years in the making. A tribute to the language of music.

For sale to the highest bidder.

The artist is an unknown genius of photo-montage who painstakingly collated images of Taiwan and the music there during his sojourn on La Isla Toxica.

His name is McStrange, a genius of note. Get it? Never mind.

Offers over $200 US considered.